So it began

Let me tell you a story. It started a few months ago; actually, a year ago; maybe a few years ago. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was that the love of his life, so he thought, was having other thoughts. Her feelings for him has changed. He didn’t notice them at first. Guys are simple creatures, we are oblivious to the subtle changes in our life while thinking everything is perfect. Maybe it was not perfect. There were disagreements or arguments; but nothing was really out of ordinary. It was part of “normal” life. Until one day,  the reality hit like a ton of bricks. In this case, the bricks started to fall with discovery of his wife’s “inappropriate” communication with her ex-boyfriend. That caused a meltdown of sort. He still thought this was just a temporary blip in their relationship. It was just talk. Nothing really happened. After the initial shock, he went into the “fix” mode. As a guy of action, there must be something he can do to fix this. He started to examine his life. Maybe their life was too ordinary. She must be looking for more excitements and adventures in her life. It was time to make life more interesting…going to concerts…shows…traveling…showing her more love and affection. Perhaps, he was not as healthy as he once were. It drove him to an exercise routing to loss a few pounds. Surely, these actions will get them back to where they were before. He wanted to look forward and get pass this as soon as possible because the alternative was unimaginable. You might ask if all that worked. In his mind, it was working. These things or activities certainly made him feeling more in control; but behind all that, he was still having that suspicious feeling his wife hasn’t stopped her communication with the other guy. He became hyper sensitive and alert about any of her behavior changes. He continued to suppress his hurt, resentment, and insecurity. On the outside, he appears to be fine; but the inside storm was brewing. He was riding an emotional roller coaster day in and day out. He didn’t know that the situation was about to get much worse…

I am sure the story sounded  familiar to a lot of guys out there. Your situation might be different; but the pain is the same. By sharing this story and ongoing journey with you, I hope to provide some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this. We are all in this together. You will get through this. It may seem impossible; but not only you will get through this, you will become a better person at the end of this journey. Don’t doubt that for a minute. I don’t have all the answers. I will also seek helps from you. At the end of day, we all need help from each other to get through this.




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